Fellowship Skits
by lenwe luinwe
Summary: Me messing around with the characters from Lord of the Rings. NEW CHAPTER ADDED! WAHOOO!
1. Orcs in the grass

This was inspired by a Billy Connelly sketch. Please reveiw, good or bad. *************************************************************** We find the fellowship under some trees eating breakfast. But what the band of warriors (and four hobbits) did not know is that there was a task force of Uruk-Hia creeping through the trees towards them. Legolas looked up, suddenly aware. His neck snapped from side to side. His attentive elven eye's narrowed as he searched the undergrowth. He turned to Aragorn who was investigateing a foreign body in his beans.  
  
"Did you hear an orc then?" he asked.  
  
Frodo looked up from his sausages. "An orc?" he said looking around, "I've never seen an orc, what are they like?" He put down his plate and stood up, searching the trees, "I've heard they're brown, is that it, are they brown?"  
  
"Hey Frodo," Merry piped up, "We're trying to have some breakfast, just sit down with your plate and shut up and do as your told."  
  
"Sorry for being born by the way," Frodo said, affronted, returning to his breakfast, "Ask a question about an orc and you get a mouthfull of abuse."  
  
Legolas smiled and looked back at his meal. He looked around again. "I'm sure I heard and orc then," he shrugged and skewered a sausage on the end of his fork.  
  
Meanwhile the Uruk-Hai were crawling slowly through the long grass towards the unknowing group. The leader stopped just three feet from Gimli (the dwarf). He signaled to the others to move round behind the fellowship. The general plan was that their leader would jump out from the bushes and scare the group into running away. Running towards the other two orcs who would pounce upon the first thing they saw. Anyway the leader mouthed: "One... Two... Three... WARRHH - ARRRRGH!" As soon as his head cleared the tips of the grass... *thwack*... he got an arrow in the forehead. 


	2. WAHAAA!

"See I told you it was an orc!" Legolas said, Glaring at Aragorn, silver flashing over his green eyes. Aragorn looked up from his breakfast to find Legolas, Bow in hand, stranding triumphantly on the chest of an Uruk High. Aragorn looked Legolas upa nd down, shrugged and returned to his fried egg. "I shall ignore your flippent attitude and search for more orcs inb the shrubbery. And without another word, Legolas turned and walked... straight into a tree. He fell flat on his back in the pine needles. He stood up quickly, brushed himself off and sauntered into the undergrowth. Aragorn chuckled through a mouthfull of black pudding. He surveyed the rest of the company. Frodo and Borimir were deep in converstation, as they often were. Gandalf was lieing against a tree, pipe out, sending his famouse smoke rings darting about the camp and Gimli was getting rather anoyed with and Elven Puzzle Cube that Legolas had given him.  
Before we continue, I am going to explain what an Elven Puzzle Cube is. An Elven Puzzle Cube is alot like a conventional Rubix cube, except it's made of wood and sings beautifully when the puzzle is compleated. Legolas could finnish it in just under 30 seconds, Gimli on the other had had been working on the puzzle for over three days now.  
Merry and Pippin were playing at one of there favorite pass times, sword fighting. Eversince Aragorn had given them short swords they spent most of there time fighting each other.  
  
"WAAAH - AHH!!!" Legolas shouted from the long grass. Another Uruk High fell dead infront of Aragorn, who didn't bat an eyelid, infact none of the fellowship even looked up. Legolas burst out from the shrubbery and sprinted across the campsite. But his foot caught in a root, and he fell flat on his face. He got up, adjusted his quiver of arrows and sprinted off into the trees.  
  
"Oh confusicate this cursed peice of wood," Gimli said, throwin the puzzle cube to the floor, he looked at Aragorn, "It's impossible!" He leant back and crossed his arms, sulking. Sam, who was walking over to the fire at the time, picked up the puzzle cube, examined it for a moment, then moved one of the sides. The cube lit up and started singing. The entire campsite aws brought to a stand still. The voice was like a choir of angels. The verses were like this:  
  
You move so sweet  
There's enough to write a book about it  
When you speak  
It takes a while for the words to settle down  
They carry on into the next town.  
  
Stick through sand drag your name  
Drag your name your always falling down  
Cover your face  
Take a seat your always falling down.  
  
You burn so slow  
You burn the way every candle wants to go when you dance  
You take the breeze  
You take the breeeze and spin it right through me.  
  
Stick through sand drag your name  
Drag your name your always falling down  
Cover your face  
Take a seat your always falling down.  
  
There's somethings you can't hide  
You never touched the ground  
You always falling down  
You have to see we're on your side  
You never touched the ground your always falling down.  
  
The light of the puzzle cube faded and the beautiful music faded. The entire companys mouths were hanging open. Sam was the first to move. He walked slowly over to Gimli and placed the cube into his hand.  
  
"WAAHH - AHHHH!!!" an orc fell from a tree into the middle of the campsite, with an arrow in his chest. 


End file.
